Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year. Decoration have been hung for month, preparations being made, the smell of pine, and Christmas cookies flooding every inch of my home. It’s getting painful. As the cold sets in and the awaited day fast approaches, I can feel it coming back. The treacherous darkness that takes over my mind as soon as the holidays end, leaving me with nothing more than the feeling of “now what?” Soon there will be nothing to anticipate. Soon there will be nothing to distract. Soon the lights and Yule log will fade away and the warmth that was once provided by comforting drinks and family tradition will become nothing but pain. Day after day I will be reminded of how much it all hurts. I won’t be distracted by the beauty of it all. Pain. Now what?