On New Years Eve. I spent the night alone holding a knife to my wrist. And so far not a day goes by that I wish I had the power to just end it all. I truly don’t want to be alive anymore

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You may not feel like it right now, but the fact that you didn’t end it on NYE shows you have SO much more strength than you even realize. 

You, my dear, are strong. Every day that you survive is another you’ve conquered. Please, please don’t give up. I promise you, it’s not the answer to your problems.

You’ve made it to the middle of February. Take it one month at a time. One hour at a time, even. I say that to myself a lot; just take it “moment to moment”.  Breathe in and out. Say it to yourself that you are fearfully and wonderfully made; you are so so loved. And when you can’t pray. Always pray. No prayer is wasted, even if you don’t feel heard. The comfort will come, I promise. 


Blackbookscribbe.. it’s hard.. even when I think I’m happy there’s so much darkness.. moment by moment.. I’ll try to keep my head up..