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Sounds like a growth season. Discomfort sucks, but it builds you up, it helps you grow. 

Your question is valid: what do you want? What do you want to learn from what you’re going rhough? What do you want to change? It’s important to embrace this season for what it is so that you can gain from it what you’re supposed to. Odds are, resisting it will only prolong it. 

I know it feels rough now – I’m sorry. But I can promise you’ll look back on this and see how it changed you for the better.