insecure and useless

So lately I feel like I am useless and feel very bad about myself. I just start crying out of nowhere and want to end my life. I hate myself becuse I dont have a bad life, I have friends and a great family. I have been seeing someone for more than 3 months but I always get so insecure and I feel like I cant be loved ever because I dont deserve it and I am afraid that I will lose this thing but I am not able to show love because I am so afraid and I dont know how to do it.

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How wise of you to reach out to others to help yourself.  Shows you care for yourself and trust others and that is a great foundation for learining “how to do it” this thing called love.

It sure is not uncommon to be afraid to loveand there are many reasons for it… because we are afraid we would not be able to bear the potential lose…

It sure isn’t uncommon to “not know how to do it”.  How to let people in (get close), how to be vulnerable yet protect yourself, how to give what they need not what we want to give, the weight of the sense of responsibility…

Like so many things in life it can take practice!   That means risk a little bit see how it goes, risk again…

Take a chance and talk with a family member, a friend or a even a stranger.  Tell them what you think/feel ask their opinion, ask about their experiences.  You will be surprised how many people will relate to you.

You might want to talk to someone who knows about depression.  A doctor or therapist.  I used to wonder why, since I had a good family life, friends etc, WHY was I on the verge of tears so often. Why was I so concerned about the pain in the world and that I was usless (afraid to) to help anyone…

With the assistance of a therapist I was able to sort through the life expereince issues ( like my good family life also had alot of underlying issues that affected me…) and was able to see that I suffered from the chemical imbalance called depression.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are feeling…what did you try, how did it work out.  We are rooting for you!!

Oh, there are many books about love, loving, relationships etc.  Get to the library and read them all!!  Let us know which ones you found helpful so we can read them too. Then we could discuss them…



ps I used to think I was usless because I could not do the personal one on one method of helping others.  Too intimate, messy emotional…. But then I realized there is a lot of help to be given, to be done behind the scenes.  Example-I may not councel someone but I can collect food they will need to eat..

I may not go on a 3 day march for the enviornment or fight congress but I can take from the well off and deliver it to the poorer, I can recycle, and take injured animals to the hospital…both the intimate and non-intimate work needs to be done in order to fully help someone.  A ha, I am needed! i don’t have to berate my slef anymore!  What a relief!!