Today, a loved one close to my family was found dead.
A word many people associate with active habitual users. Our culture has this preconceived notion that in order for one to truly overdose they have to abuse over and over and over again. Although this statement is valid, many find themselves using just once maybe twice. But no matter how many times a person may use, starting can be your ending.
this is my open letter to my loved one,
_______, I write this sweet note to you not to express my anger or disappointment, but to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never understood how much the high beneath your feet was greater than the reality of your life grazing your face. I’m sorry for believing that the love we all showered you with was enough to keep you safe. I’m sorry for being an active speaker, and not the best active listener. I’m sorry your efforts to stay clean had been tainted for your love of not feeling. And ______, I’m sorry you never loved yourself enough to understand how important you are to the many people whos lives you have touched. I don’t judge you, and I don’t pity you either. Instead of destroying myself with “what if’s” I will continue to pray for you, and your family. Just know that even in your darkest moments I loved you, and will always love you. God has gained an angel so beautiful, rest easy my little rock star.