After my suicide attempt, the psychiatric nurse triaging me said I was “too heavy to be anorexic.” Almost a decade later it still haunts me. At my lowest I was only down to 109 lb at 5’5”, which is barely underweight. Like most people with eating disorders, the numbers are a huge deal to me. Now I’m restricting again, and have lost around 65 lb, but I’m still in the “healthy” weight range. I want to get to a “significantly low weight” so that it can be “officially” anorexia nervosa, and not this atypical AN bullshit. I feel like I’ll never be able to leave it alone until that happens.