Sir knight Potato

I miss him. My first love. My first boyfriend. I gave him a lot of my firsts and I am happy I did. We broke up. The relationship was wonderful but it wasn’t functional. He’s studying now and I’m here wondering what’s he’s doing. I just want to be with him and share his excitements. His joys. And his woes. It’s been 2 months and I still love him as the day I met him. We’ve been together for 7 months but that was enough for me to fall head over heels. He was amazing, kind, one of the best people I know. He understood me. He cared about me. And he loved me. I still want to think he still cares about me. But I don’t know. I’m not him and he’s not me. I want to be friends with him but that’s out of the option. I’m hurting. I cry almost every night thinking about what could have been. The what ifs. I want to move on so I can start healing. But I also don’t want to move on because I love him. I was depressed suicidal and he gave me hope. He took some of it away and the hope left in me is longing for him. I love him. I love you my sweet sir knight Potato. I wanted to die before I met you because o have nothing.. now I want to die because I lost something important and is a piece of me.

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First loves are special (first everythings are a marker because they are well first!)  I hear you.  You are wise to want to move on though.  You can continue on and still have a  place for him tucked away in your heart.  But you are right, the wonderful memories, you have to control them or they will steal your life away.  

You say you lost a piece of you.  Well, you also gained a piece of him and now you are a new kind of whole…Emmy Lou Harris sings a line “there’s imore room in a broken heart” meaning there is more room for more love, more ways for love to get in to your heart…

It is good you only cry at night.  Maybe you could try to wean yourself from that now.  Try to stop the crying before you settle down for sleep so that it doesn’t disturb your sleep…

Remember second and third loves are great too you know! They can even be better in that they can be deeper and more meaningful.  You learn alot from the first love.

You are great! Your own life is of greater value than past loves.  Follow the part of your heart that wants to move on.  Find a few groups to join.  New hobbie maybe…  Get involved with a church or synagogue. Volunteer!  Helping others is a great way to improve one’s life and a great way to procress grief.

I hear your hurt and I remember it myself.  Fortunatly it will get hard to maintain the level of grief you have now as time goes on…Fortunately there are many more positive events to come in your life.  Go out and start looking for them, make them happen.  

You know how we say “the life you lead”?  We don’t say ” the life you follow”!  Your the boss go ahead and LEAD your life.  Namaste



Thank you very much for these very insightful words. Namaste


You have to be your own Potato Knight xoxo You are whole. You must love yourself first and foremost, even if that seems such a silly notion. Give yourself permission to know you are enough. Your Knight merely reflected how bright you can shine.



I love this!


It’s not really a reliable knight it has a shining armour . Thanks for he kind words