Tired of it

Whenever I talk with my mother she is either on the phone or watching tv. In short, she cares hell what I say. The longest comversarions we have (if they can be called that) where she is paying attention to me and not to the screen is when she is complaining about my existence. She is currently on a trip and takes the time of messaging me. She has this amazingly beautiful way to make my day start with a message that say “hear me out, you little piece of shit” and sorts. I came to understand she needs this to take out stress or something, but still… I’m so tired of it. Not like the rest of my family is any better. They are trying to set me up on dates and stuff to see if maybe “I can give some value to the family”. I can’t talk to no one about my depression and I am seriously in that point in which the only thing I want most is to just… Be able to get away from all this people. I wonder if it is awful of me to despise my family so much. At least I have this place to vent and I am grateful for that. I hope anyone else in here can find value in their own person. We must all have one, right?

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ann

If only we could pick our family!  By blood we can not but we can by finding other people and begin building a relationship with them. Teachers, parents of friends, church folks, coaches…many many people have had to find suraget parents/family.  What is it you want from your Mom and family?  You can provide that for yourself, yourself.  You can comfort, encourage, love, yourself .  I know the empty feeling. I call it the search for the “eternal monther’s hug”.  Work on your faith or read different philosphies giving yourself an even stronger foundation…

It is only human to dislike people who treat us so poorly,  especially if they hold positions (like family) where more isreasonably expected.   But you don’t have to be anyones whipping post.  If you can, don’t anyswer her texts.  If you have to answer, don’t read them just say something like “good morning” and be done with it, let it go.  It is NOT aweful of you.

“Forgive them for they know not what they do” and move on.  Make plans for your life and work on them.

You are right we must know the value of ourselves, ourselves!  Give yourself hugs and compliments etc everyday, all day.

I agree this is a great place to vent! 




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