college- first semester

the first semester of college, i met a boy. this boy was unlike any i had ever seen. he had eyes of blue that i could swim in forever, beautiful blond hair, a just-right beard… he was interested in all of the things i was interested in. game of thrones, martial arts, video games.. we both were on the same schooling track, music education, him for his trombone, and myself for my voice. this boy asked me out, and never believing i could be loved, i said yes. the boy and i were together constantly. it was truly bliss. all of my broken pieces had finally fallen into place. my mental health issues got the best of him, started making him question the relationship, himself.. and the boy left. i was devastated because regardless of how long the relationship was, i finally felt whole after years of feeling like i was missing something.. someone. i’m still dealing with the aftermath and i really don’t know what to do. i have to spend the next four years with the guy who made me feel genuinely happy without him making me feel that way again..

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Keep your eye on your life! Make your self whole by being all you can be. The best way feel whole is to work on being confident within yourself. You went to collage to develop yourself, to grow. Meeting many people and the ups and downs that come with that are a part of it.

Analyze the relationship and learn from it. (Did I give too much of my time to it ? Maybe there is a better balance…Did I give too much at once? Maybe next time I’ll go slower…did I over invest…)

Keep planning your life (who do I want to be what do I want to do) and keep meeting more people, girls and guys. Keep your focus on your classes, your life and you won’t even see him after a while. Hopefully your school is large enough…

Also a friendship might still possible and you could still share what you enjoyed, a bit at a time instead of all in…

In the extreme you could go to another school. BUT it would be better to stay the course, learn some and move on some than do that…

Growing can be so hard but it is part of life and what we all have to learn …you write very well by the way. You are talented!

Ann Quinlan (famous author) wrote about how she was always waiting for someone to come into her life that was going to make it all good.
Then she realized she could be that someone. She is right. We can all be that someone for ourselves. So can you.