Update

This is… More like… A vent update of the situation. So… I had other friend on the group, right? Not as close, but they were there. Asking me to come back in the last two days. In the time I was out I cooled down a bit. When (A) talked to me I could feel that… 2 days were to little. I was going to wait maybe a week or two before deciding whether I would just really leave or go. I was… Pressured into it and I really think it was too soon. It also seems I was right. (A) thought I left cause was defending (B) and (A) wouldn’t agree to it. (A) proved that my theory that… (A) listens in “defending (B)” tone is actually true. So… Am hurt. It hurts me cause. I am always there to stop discussions, to try and help if needed, I have opposed to many types of bad behaviours in the group. In no moment I ever accepted a rude, disrespectful, or mean behaviour from anyone against anyone. (A) thinks am just too nice to people and that worries me cause… Am just treating people like you should actually treat them. With respect and care for them as a person. Cause I believe everyone deserves to be treated with a certain amount of care. Its not love or liking. Is simply welcoming them with a smile. Ask them what is wrong if you see they are down. Try to cheer them up if you can. Its reciprocated sometimes and sometimes is not, but even in the second case it doesn’t matter. Just because someone is shitty at you doesn’t mean you have to be shitty to everyone else. I fail at it more than I will like to admit cause I suck at comforting people and my personality is not actually… Nice by nature, but I do try my best. And (A) knows this. I know they try too. They try to be fair and righteous in their decisions cause they are in charge of the place, and they really are in almost every case. So what really hurts me… Is that. That they believe with so much… That they are so convinced I am actually defending (B)s behaviour and they fail to see what I am really trying to say. That (A) ignores who they know I am and think I am willing to accept someone encouraging others to suicide. That they thinks I am THAT sort of person hurts me. We agreeded to talk calmly. Someone, that is also in charged and was the one who convinced me to come back early, made us got to this arrangement. We both agreed and am glad cause it gives me hope that they actually doesn’t want this to torn us apart or something(but again it might just be the positive side of me that is surprisingly around). But (A) left. After a while of that arrangement they just left without saying anything. No one even notice when until a few moments later. (A) isn’t talking to anyone by any medium. So yeah… I don’t know what to think. I might come back to… Speak my mind “aloud” on whatever outcome this brings.
Once again. Thx for the space to vent.

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ann

Hi Littleyellowkin.

So when does this group have fun?! What sort of things do you do when together?

Venting is good. Being with people who don’t anger us is better. What does this group give you? By that I mean why do you want to be a part of it? Is there an other way to get what you need?

It does hurt when someone doesn’t understand, have our back over something. It hurts when they don’t KNOW that we are better than that. But YOU know that you would never say that and that is what matters most.

Do you think it might be better to just let the matter drop now?




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