I haven’t felt this numb in a long time. I want to relapse, but I know that it is not worth it. I miss the comfort that my old behaviors gave me. The way I used to feel in control even though I knew it was one of the most out of control times in my life. I just want to feel something.

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So I don’t know you. But I know what it’s like to want to go back. Especially when daily things change or even some times the weather.. we look around and we don’t feel in control of anything. You and I both know how a relapse isn’t worth it. I’m proud of your fight and realizing that going back isn’t worth. I know what it’s like to be numb. It’s just for a moment. Keep fighting. I’m sure you have a lot of people that love and support you. If feel other wise you have us. We love you