Too bad

Laying in bed and listening to a sad indie playlist. I’m feeling really down. Listening to these slow songs aren’t helping either. I guess I’m the type to wallow in my sadness. I guess I’m just tired of picking myself up day after day. The house feels sad and empty tonight, but when does it not feel that way? I wish I could truly explain what is going on. Too tired and unmotivated to study for this science quiz on Fri. Too tired and unmotivated to wash my work clothes for tomorrow. Too tired and unmotivated to even get out of this bed. I want to cry but I don’t want anyone to come into my room and ask questions. I want to run away. I want to escape from my reality. I want out. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I really wish I could just disappear for a little while. I don’t want to be alone, because God knows how lonely I feel and how lonely I am, but I don’t want to be around anyone either. This life I’m living feels meaningless, mundane, and just plain pointless. I want to run away. I want to escape. I hate my reality. I feel like I’m waiting to wake up from a bad dream.. but I can’t. I’m stuck asleep in this bad dream. It’s hard for me to have hope or see things getting better. I want to run away. I want to escape. I want to wake up from this bad dream. Too bad it’s my reality.

Leave a Reply

2 Comments on "Too bad"

Sort by:   newest | oldest

Pick a different play list quick. Wallow for a little bit. Then make plans.

So much to do sucks up your energy maybe even more so than doing them.

Suggestion: Month at a Glance Calendar and a paper to make a list.

List all you have to do. Prioritize. Break large projects down into steps. Place them on the calendar. THen take it one day at a time.

Be sure to write in naps, breaks, exercise, meals and FUN.

Although life requires us to be flexible, stick to the calendar and just do one day at a time.


hey there. i completely understand you because i also have days like that. sometimes weeks. i’d feel drained at the end of the day and just i’d be on my bed with nothing to do but think of everything and anything. you’re not alone, even if you feel like it. there are thousands of people who feels the same way as you do and i’m one of it.

i, too, wants to escape my reality. i’d daydream a lot. think about things i know i have no chance to grasp, no chance to experience. my life is made up of the mundane things, really. i go to school but not because i want to, but because i need to. it’s tiring and draining. i want to run away where no one knows me. maybe start a new life, but i knew better than to do that.

i learned (i still am learning) and realized (still am, too) that life is like that. we have days when we feel like we want to really give up. release that tight grip we have on everything because it’s just to difficult to keep up. life’s never fair. but. sometimes it is. it gives you bad days, but it also gives you good days. and on good days, it makes you feel alive. it makes you feel the happiness, the adrenaline in your body. who knows if it was caused by a certain someone, or maybe an old hobby you revived recently and had a progress on it. who knows, right? that day is when i feel productive to continue my artwork and maybe, to start another one. that day is when i feel accomplished because i know i survived another day.

my life is mundane. nothing really spectacular happens everyday. but i think i’m getting the hang of it. throwing little spices of me in everything i do – laughing, cracking up bad jokes and puns, doing weird gestures to make my loved ones around me happy. i realized too that by making people happy, i become happy. i cling on to that thought every now and then. and now i’m writing a little bit of me to you. in hopes to help you get through it.

in case no one told you recently, you are doing well. yes, it’s exhausting. yes, it’s difficult. but look. at the end of the day, you’re here, alive. you got pass it. you’re still standing on your feet, breathing, and i think that’s what matters. you’re important. and you are very much loved.

reality can be cruel sometimes but hey. chin up. you got this. take your time and do baby steps if you have to. it’s better than to have nothing.