I’ve kept a small circle of friends ever since highschool, and only had serious relationships with the women I dated. As time moves forward most people find new friends/lovers and lose some old ones. Not me. The life I’ve lived has left me with trust/abandonment issues. When I lose friends I don’t have that urge to start over with someone new. My friends are irreplaceable to me. When my relationships fail it takes a bigger piece of my heart every time. I play/create music to channel my pain into something productive, and it helps. However, I feel music may be the only thing I have left in due time. I didn’t want to shut myself out from the world, but the people who’ve came and gone make me feel like I am the only one who can support me. I am the only person that can make me feel safe. I am the only thing that can take care of me, and if I find myself in a situation where I can no longer take care of myself. My first thought is that I will die. Not by suicide, but because people are unreliable and don’t give a fuck..