Once upon a time.

Once upon a time there was a boy. He was fragile boy. He cried a lot.. scared easy.. bullied.. beaten..

His parents loved him and tried to protect him as much as possible. As he got older he began to hide his pains. He realized that his problems weren’t as big as the ones around him. Finances were hard. We always just got by. He realized that life is all about just getting by. He learned what he needed to learn to get by. He did a lot of things he grew up to regret. He became very angry. Angry with his family and friends. He became a lost angry teenager. He became the bully. He made people cry. High school was impossible.. the more he got picked on the more he picked on others. And this guy got away with everything!! He was invincible! Never in trouble at school and no one questioned him at home. He got mixed up with a lot of bad things in college. Screwed up a lot. But one thing he always appreciated was time alone. He would take time alone to pray, to forgive himself. To seek guidance and forgiveness. To try and refresh and start over. He will cry out to God. Hed ask for hope and peace. Now this boy is a man. A man that has some good days and some bad. A man that gets lost easy. But loves greatly.. I’m that man today.. as I sit alone. I get lost I no longer find it easy to refresh myself I get lost in my thoughts and only think of how many people I’ve hurt. I think of all of the times I’ve been hurt. I think of all the times I’ve hurt myself. I can’t handle being alone. It scares me. I wanna be the little boy that likes being alone the teen that used it as a fresh start. Not the man that’s afraid to close my eyes

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ann

things often seem easier in the past, I know. We were better skilled at living in the moment instead of getting bogged down in thinking negative things over and over again. GOOD NEWS! You can stop the constant thoughts that bring you down. You can change your mind!

*If you can, reach out to those you have hurt and say sorry. Don’t need to explain just say sorry. And if they respond poorly that is ok because you did the right thing and will find relief even if it takes a bit for it to come …
*When your thoughts are going on and on. Say STOP to yourself. Then think something positive ANYTHING! Rain drops are beautiful, anything. You may have to say STOP often in the beginning but you will get better at it. It is a retraining of your thought patterns…

When you close your eyes pray. Pray for yourself and then list all things good from that day (s). That rain drop, the person you smiled to or helped in some small way. That good tv show, the warm water in the shower….retrain your brain…

Get familiar with the library (and the librarian too!) Read fun books and inspirational books when you are alone. Take up fishing alone …

Keep praying, find a community of believers and deepen your spiritual life….

Hug yourself, tell yourself over and over-good job, that was nice of you, I love greatly and that is incredible…

let the little boy in you help the man that you are (and vise versa)…

And look for God. Miracles are everywhere not just coincidences…for example you love greatly. That is an excallent tool you have to heal your self use it. ( Also, if you aren’t already, go volunteer and share that love with others, that will give you lots to think of when you close your eyes right!)

You know how it is said the past is past…let it go, give it to God, visualize setting it all down and walking away or holding it all up so the breeze can take it…whatever imagery works for you, but let it go…focus on the today and the near tomorrows…consciously tell your self to think this way over and over again…

(I just learned of a book called The Highly Sensitive Person. Haven’t read it yet…we both might learn something from it…)

You have skill, passion, ability, let yourself use them , let yourself grow!




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